About Ms Frothingham's 1800's School of Etiquette
Who should join?Mothers and Daughters, Single Young Ladies of all ages who follow the Civil War Reenactment Trail. We have a place for everyone.
Note: Mother-Daughter includes, Aunt-Niece, Grandmother-Granddaughter, Honorary Women - Honorary Young Women. The combinations are endless. Fathers are welcomed and much needed for support.
Where are you located?Etiquette classes will be held throughout Southern California’s Civil War Reenactment Events. It’s perfect for those who attend events while our soldiers are fighting for our honor. *
What does it cost?Time and dedication. Material fees can be offset by volunteering at fundraising events. Items included in fees: material for individual ball gowns, afternoon tea, lesson supplies and the end of summer Victorian Debutante Cotillion Ball.
“We need women who are so strong they can be gentle, so educated they can be humble, so fierce they can be compassionate, so passionate they can be rational, and so disciplined they can be free.” Kavita Ramdas
Ms. Frothingham's 1800's School of Etiquette
Class schedule and itinerary will be made available in Spring 2022
Ridiculous Etiquette Rules from Victorian Times or are they?
1. THE LENGTH OF CONVERSATION MUST DEPEND ON THE PLACE WHERE YOU MEET: In the streets, conversations were required to be short—wouldn't want to hold up traffic!—but when taking a longer “promenade” through the garden, discussions were granted more time.
2. As a lady enters a drawing-room...HER FACE SHOULD WEAR A SMILE; SHE SHOULD NOT RUSH IN HEAD-FOREMOST; A GRACEFUL BEARING, A LIGHT STEP, AN ELEGANT BEND TO COMMON ACQUAINTANCE (...) ARE ALL REQUISITE TO A LADY: As if women didn't already have enough to deal with during the 19th century. All the above is included in addition to "not shaking, of the hand extended to her," but rather, accepting it with "cordial pressure."
3. AFTER MID-DAY IT IS ILLEGAL TO CELEBRATE A MARRIAGE: Fortunately, things loosened up near the end of the century, and weddings could be held as late as *gasp* 3 p.m.
4. WHEN A BRIDE IS YOUNG, THE BRIDESMAIDS SHOULD BE YOUNG: The handbook also mentions that it was acceptable for a young married lady to be a bridesmaid, but it would be “absurd” if the woman in question were single and aged. We wouldn’t want to throw off the aesthetic, I suppose.
5. THE WORST PART OF A COUNTRY VISIT IS THE NECESSITY OF GIVING GRATUITIES TO THE SERVANTS: What an imposition! Paying the help is the most loathsome burden.
6. GLOVES MUST BE WHITE, NOT YELLOW: Because lemon-colored gloves would have been the obvious choice otherwise. 7. THE DANCES [AT A BALL] SHOULD BE ARRANGED BEFOREHAND, AND, FOR LARGE BALLS, YOU SHOULD HAVE PRINTED A NUMBER OF DOUBLE CARDS, CONTAINING ON THE ONE SIDE A LIST OF THE DANCES; ON THE OTHER, BLANK SPACES TO BE FILLED UP BY THE NAMES OF PARTNERS. A SMALL PENCIL SHOULD BE ATTACHED TO EACH CARD: Apparently parties were a little more regulated back then. The handbook follows with the assortment of dances that one should expect at a ball (such as a quadrille, a waltz, a polka) as well as the number of times they are to be played.
8. A LADY SHOULD NEVER HAVE MORE THAN ONE GLASS OF CHAMPAGNE: Oh dear. If the handbook's obsessive rules are too overwhelming for you, feel free to fall back on this overarching mandate:
11. ANYTHING THAT DETRACTS FROM THE PLEASURE OF SOCIETY IS IN BAD TASTE: At least one rule has aged quite nicely.
2. As a lady enters a drawing-room...HER FACE SHOULD WEAR A SMILE; SHE SHOULD NOT RUSH IN HEAD-FOREMOST; A GRACEFUL BEARING, A LIGHT STEP, AN ELEGANT BEND TO COMMON ACQUAINTANCE (...) ARE ALL REQUISITE TO A LADY: As if women didn't already have enough to deal with during the 19th century. All the above is included in addition to "not shaking, of the hand extended to her," but rather, accepting it with "cordial pressure."
3. AFTER MID-DAY IT IS ILLEGAL TO CELEBRATE A MARRIAGE: Fortunately, things loosened up near the end of the century, and weddings could be held as late as *gasp* 3 p.m.
4. WHEN A BRIDE IS YOUNG, THE BRIDESMAIDS SHOULD BE YOUNG: The handbook also mentions that it was acceptable for a young married lady to be a bridesmaid, but it would be “absurd” if the woman in question were single and aged. We wouldn’t want to throw off the aesthetic, I suppose.
5. THE WORST PART OF A COUNTRY VISIT IS THE NECESSITY OF GIVING GRATUITIES TO THE SERVANTS: What an imposition! Paying the help is the most loathsome burden.
6. GLOVES MUST BE WHITE, NOT YELLOW: Because lemon-colored gloves would have been the obvious choice otherwise. 7. THE DANCES [AT A BALL] SHOULD BE ARRANGED BEFOREHAND, AND, FOR LARGE BALLS, YOU SHOULD HAVE PRINTED A NUMBER OF DOUBLE CARDS, CONTAINING ON THE ONE SIDE A LIST OF THE DANCES; ON THE OTHER, BLANK SPACES TO BE FILLED UP BY THE NAMES OF PARTNERS. A SMALL PENCIL SHOULD BE ATTACHED TO EACH CARD: Apparently parties were a little more regulated back then. The handbook follows with the assortment of dances that one should expect at a ball (such as a quadrille, a waltz, a polka) as well as the number of times they are to be played.
8. A LADY SHOULD NEVER HAVE MORE THAN ONE GLASS OF CHAMPAGNE: Oh dear. If the handbook's obsessive rules are too overwhelming for you, feel free to fall back on this overarching mandate:
11. ANYTHING THAT DETRACTS FROM THE PLEASURE OF SOCIETY IS IN BAD TASTE: At least one rule has aged quite nicely.
ANNUAL DEBUTANATE BALL
The culminating event of program is the Victorian Debutante Cotillion Ball, to be held at the end of the summer in which the debutantes are formally presented in Victorian Society and their local communities.
Summer Program
“Good sense and good nature suggest civility in general; but in good breeding there are a thousand little delicacies which are established only by custom.”
~ Philip Dormer Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield
The program objectives are achieved through a summer curriculum consisting of educational workshops, activities, community service outings and rehearsals.
The culminating event of the program is the Victorian Debutante Cotillion Ball, to be held at the end of the summer in which the debutantes are formally presented in Victorian Society and their local communities.
This event also includes an award ceremony in which individuals will be presented with scholarships to the following years program
The culminating event of the program is the Victorian Debutante Cotillion Ball, to be held at the end of the summer in which the debutantes are formally presented in Victorian Society and their local communities.
This event also includes an award ceremony in which individuals will be presented with scholarships to the following years program
(above) The Vivandieres were young women who served in the Civil War showed great courage in the face of battle.
Our Victorian Etiquette Program
supports Young Women in today's society by promoting:
The enhancement of personal, civic and leadership development through structured educational workshops.
Develop servant leadership through volunteerism and community service.
Develop high ethical standards, character development, good citizenship and social graces during the formative years. Develop camaraderie and positive relationships with other young women. Develop artistic expression and health through dance and movement
The enhancement of personal, civic and leadership development through structured educational workshops.
Develop servant leadership through volunteerism and community service.
Develop high ethical standards, character development, good citizenship and social graces during the formative years. Develop camaraderie and positive relationships with other young women. Develop artistic expression and health through dance and movement
Donations
Donations help offset the cost of tuition, educational tools and materials for each attendee. This program is possible by donations from individuals like yourself.
Each Donation over $50.00 will come with a 15% annual discount on all Tea In Time Afternoon Tea Fundraisers. *
* 15% discount applies to the initial purchase per event (regardless if you are buying (1) seat or (20) seats at a time). All subsequent purchases for the same event will be at the regular price. Donations receipts automatically provided for donations over $100.00.
Each Donation over $50.00 will come with a 15% annual discount on all Tea In Time Afternoon Tea Fundraisers. *
* 15% discount applies to the initial purchase per event (regardless if you are buying (1) seat or (20) seats at a time). All subsequent purchases for the same event will be at the regular price. Donations receipts automatically provided for donations over $100.00.